People using 'good deeds' against you

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People using 'good deeds' against you

Postby WingardiumElliosa » Wed Jun 21, 2017 3:22 am

Hi all,

I'm not exactly a frequent visitor but I just wanted to voice my opinion on something that I've been finding people are doing a lot lately. I wanted to know if you guys think I'm paranoid or wrong about this or whether you've experienced something similar.

I find that people seem to take advantage of me in a subtle and almost unavoidable way. I've had my dad do it, my abusive aunt has done it, I've had it happen at work and I've even had my ex do the same thing. What will essentially happen is the person in question will either give me something or do something for me without me really asking for it. Granted, there's nothing wrong with this, and I appreciate when things like this happen. What I can never seem to understand is when they use this as ammunition against me later down the line as a means of either highroading me or making me feel worse about myself.

I'm not a particularly outgoing person, and I tend to have spats where I don't want to be social and would rather just not talk to people. It's not something that a lot of people understand, but I honestly don't see anything wrong with this, even if people have trouble accepting this about me. It's my life ultimately, and I will live it how I see fit, regardless of what people want of me.

Sadly, sometimes people take my distance personally and decide to scold of berate me for it. This will include personal digs and generally deciding to poke holes in the way I chose to interact with people. While I would rather not have to take any offence to it, sadly it does get to me. The worst part is when it becomes a case of the above mentioned favours, or gifts I am given without me really asking for them become a point of argument and they will decide that I am a shitty person for acting the way I do when they've done these things for me in the past. It's as if I don't have the right to my own opinion or to act how I want around people because of these things.

It just makes me feel like I can't trust anyone and that whenever anyone does something for me, I ought to take it with a grain of salt because it could be thrown right back at me later down the line. I'm not sure if I am just being ungrateful or if I am in the right here.

For a more specific example, I've been previously scolded by my aunt for not wanting to speak during dinner and she actually shouted at me and even struck me a couple of times for it. Apparently, I should have been asking her stuff like "how was your day" or "how are you" at least and the fact that I wasn't was me being ungrateful to her for letting me stay under her roof (which I wish I hadn't done in the first place to be perfectly honest.)

Again, I could be wrong here and that I am the one who's the problem, but it would be interesting to get an outsider's viewpoint on this.

Many thanks,

Your friendly neighbourhood Wizard.
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Location: Cambridgeshire

Re: People using 'good deeds' against you

Postby Mr. Mean-Spirited » Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:35 pm

If somebody strikes you, then slap them back – twice as hard. If someone scolds you, then curse them – with twice as many cuss-words.

The reason people treat you like $hit is because you don’t fight back. People take advantage of you only because you let them.
I am on this earth for one reason and one reason only. I am here to hate.
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Mr. Mean-Spirited
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