I don’t hate technology and science. But one of the things that I hate about the world is the fact that it’s almost impossible to become self sufficient nowadays.
There’s a documentary series coming on British TV sometime soon. Its about taking a bunch of the scummiest teenage Brits and making them live with an American Amish community and watching them squirm. Its complete trash TV, but it really got me thinking about how I’d love the opportunity to go and do what they’re doing. They’re going to have to be up and ready to work by 5:30am and they’ll be in bed and asleep by 10:30pm. I think it’s going to make me angry to watch because these teenage f**ktards are going to be moaning and resisting the entire time. The Amish are actually pretty decent people. They’re boring as f**k, but they’re not as bad as fundamentalist Christians. They’re nice, boring people.
It’s got me thinking about the simple life again. Whilst the world is on its way to a complete collapse due to to fact that we’ve built everything on temporary resources that we’re quickly running out of. Not to mention that there’s more and more of us being born everyday. I have to depend on it. We all do. I have no room to grow my own food, I can’t build a well and prove myself with water. To live in England I have to be part of the system.
I’ve always been told the virtues of capitalism, if you work hard and make the right decisions, then you’ll reap what you sow and get out what you put in. I’ve worked hard since I was 12. When I was 12 I had 3 paper rounds and delivered over 800 newspapers a week, doing the same monotonous shit every night and got a little over ??35 for it. On a week with a lot of spam I’d get about ??50. I’ve scrubbed toilets and served drinks. I’ve washed pots and done the crap nobody wants to do. I’ve done weeks of 14 hour days mixing plaster and mortar all day without even the radio being on. I spent 6 weeks laboring for some carpenters doing 13 hour shifts. The foreman came over to me and started talking to me like I was deaf. I asked him what’s wrong. He then laughed and said “No, I thought you were Polish or Lithuanian or something..” When you come from a lower class you need to work your way up. I’m not trying to get sympathy or say I’m any different to anybody in my situation. If I want my degree in mechanical or chemical engineering, then I need to work for it. When my factory worker dad and unemployed mum for some reason decided to have three kids, it doesn’t grant you the right to a free ride.
There are times that I just want to sling a duffel bag over my shoulder and go to SE Asia and work on a Buddhist monastery. Just like Rambo 3. I’ll just walk there. I’ll start in Portsmouth, my middle finger raised at England as I sail to France. Once I’m In France I’ll just start walking East with my middle finger high facing behind me the whole way. I like this idea because when I’m eating an apple, that’s an apple that came from a tree that I tended. The rice I eat is the rice that I’ve grown and harvested. The shelter I live in is the shelter I’ve helped build and help maintain. I’ll do odd jobs and work hard. At the end of the day I’ll wipe the sweat off my brow. I’ll eat my rice and vegetables. I’ll drink the water from the well that I’ve built and got the water from and I’ll sleep on my tatami mat. The food I’ve grown is for me and the monks and for me doing this they’ll let my Agnostic self live there.
When I wake up I’m rubbing chemicals into my skin and eating high fructose corn syrup puffs in milk from a cow that was fed steroids. I walk past grey concrete all day, surrounded by plastic and petrol fumes. I need to eat, I need to drink, I need to be clean and I need shelter. To get these things I need to have a job. To have a job I need an address and a bank account. To have an address and a bank account I need to earn money. When I get my pay check most of it goes on the rent or mortgage. Then, because everything with heat or electricity is oil and coal based, the bills to be warm and eat hot, processed food take up another large chunk of my wage. The food prices are going up. I’ll just about make it to the next pay day with what money I need, then it’ll start all over again.
Does anybody owe me any of this? No. Do I have the right to complain to people who have to do the same thing? No. I’m simply saying that I think its retarded, I hate it. Stick your society up your arse, I’m leaving.
When I work hard I’m never promoted. Nepotism is rampant and I’ve seen it all my life. When I work hard I get to live in a grey miserable, synthetic environment. Everything I own is made out of oil and poison which we’re running out of because everything is made out of it and everything mechanical or electrical runs on it. The food I eat is made out of crap and was grown in a warehouse. Entertainment consists of drugging myself with alcohol and reading books. People keep friggin’. When they squeeze out another five kids that the world didn’t need, then we have five more rubber-headed retards that are as smart as their parents who don’t know what over population means clogging up the motorway, whilst dropping their five rubber-head kids off at our over populated, failing schools.
f**k you. I’m done. I can understand enduring shit to get something out of it, but I have nothing to gain from having the life I have here any more. If anything I have much more to lose. I’m sick of my sweat being worth minimum wage. I’m sick of being paid as little as legally possible. I can’t afford to go out and get skills.
I wish I could have applied to be on that Amish show. Maybe they’d have let me stay. I could churn butter all day, I could build barns and slaughter animals and live peaceful. When I work hard, I’ll actually reap what I sow. I worked hard for that buttered bread, now I get to eat it. I’ll even change my name to Ezekiel English. I don’t care.
I’m pretty sick right now. I can barely stand. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up around cleaning products and my immunities are completely shit. But I’m putting some stuff in my duffel bag as soon as I’m better and I’m thinking of taking a trip.
Laters people. Let me know how to complete collapse of society goes. I can’t say I care too much, but I do enjoy a good laugh from time to time.