Why the boss is an asshole

By Jim

I wish I could sympathise but my boss is amazing. He??s 24 years old but knows every single thing, in fact he??s so confident in his vast knowledge that he refuses to listen to anyone else, he??s even more of an expert on topics in which you are learned. He??s a sharp dresser, so much that fashion magazines follow his guidelines down to the cuff, whatever he wears they feature because they??re too stupid to think for themselves. At least I think it goes that way and not visa versa. He has great communication skills so much that he can get others to do his work for him, including his mother who makes his lunch but he??s fair enough to allow you to take the blame when things go wrong or will make sure your name goes forward when the executives are looking for a fall guy. He??s very generous too. He always buys coffee for his manager and laughs at all her bad jokes but our team needs to work on ours because we rarely make him smile.

In fact I personally think he works too hard, I believe this because whenever I pass his desk he??s always shopping for clothes or accessories online so he clearly doesn??t have enough time to visit the shops in person. He cares about global warming too as he??s forever hitting and kicking printers and computers until the lights go off and thus saving our company electricity. I wish he??d be my friend but he only talks to the young girls with the fake tans and fake breasts, perhaps one day I??ll be cool enough for him to acknowledge and learn my name. He??s only been here for five years after all.

 

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